Consequences

Do you ever start to do something, then think, “This is a bad idea”? Is it courage or stupidity that causes you to plunge ahead?

Do you ponder where you want to be in a month, six months, a year, five years?

Do you let fear get in the way of reaching those goals?

“There’s nothing to fear but fear itself.” Who said that? Why?

There are consequences for our actions. What if our consequences are different—and worse—than we expect? What if they are better than we expect?

Sometimes we don’t listen to the little voice inside, even when it’s right spot on. Sometimes we do.

© 2013 ~ Cathy Thomas Brownfield ~ ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

The Melting Pot

I was driving in my car, thinking about how diverse society has become. There is no common ground. It’s not about “our people” now. It’s about cultures of people: Hispanic Americans, Native Americans, African Americans…We have forgotten about “the melting pot.”

I’m told that the color of my skin—white—has given me unfair advantage over others who do not have white skin. It’s even been suggested to me that I need to experience the disadvantage of being lesser on the Great Chain of Being, as if I don’t already know about segregation.

When I was in about sixth grade, a new family moved to town. One of the children was assigned to my class. She missed school one day because she was ill. I took her homework to her door. I wasn’t allowed to talk to her. Her mother politely thanked me. We were never allowed to be friends. I suspect it was because I was the daughter of a laborer who had only an eighth grade education. My family wasn’t “good enough” for that family. I made the leap from that point to, “So I must not be good enough.”

My mother must have experienced something similar. She was at church with the other ladies. They were talking about the refreshments they would serve at Vacation Bible School. Mom told them what she would provide. Frances thanked her for the offer, “But I was talking to the ‘regular’ women.” My mother thought she was one of them until that day, that moment, when she learned she was not.

It’s not about the differences in color, unless it’s the color of the individual’s glasses. It’s about the “haves” and the “have-nots.” The sting of rejection because you “aren’t good enough” can happen to anyone. The burden of being the “ass of society” is not on black women. It’s on poor women. It doesn’t matter what color she is. If she is poor, she is burdened with everything that is wrong because she has no way, no resources, to change anything, including her status in this world.

It is SUPPOSED TO BE about “we, the people,” not “we, the white/black/red/purple/green people. “ It’s not about “we, the English/Irish/Italian/Hispanic/Chinese/Indian” people.  It’s SUPPOSED TO BE “We, the People,” the “melting pot” known as the United States of America.

© 2013 Cathy Thomas Brownfield ~ ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Aggression

I’m supposed to be a lady.

I’m supposed to do what’s “right.”

I’m supposed to be loyal and true.

I’m supposed to be a lot of things. But what about everyone else, especially the bullies in my world? Can I just say that I am a reasonable person. I am not that hard to get along with! I have no problem showing respect TO THOSE WHO HAVE EARNED IT. But if you walk on me, I will meet you face-to-face, prepared to do battle if I must. If you try to rule me, you will meet resistance. If you act with aggression toward me, well, we shall see.

Bullies are nothing new to me. They are everywhere, and, I suspect, in every culture. There always will be someone who thinks (s)he is better than someone else, and to cause them to prey on those they perceive to be weak. The only thing I can do about bullying is my own.  Am I bullying the neighbor who is pushing his way over the property line to the property my spouse and I have been paying payments to own for 18 years? Am I bullying the little kids next door when they taunt my dogs and I tell them to stop? When someone calls my “do not call” number and I ask, “Where did you get my number,” and they say they have an automatic dialer is it wrong that I am angry that they think that is a legitimate reason to violate my “do not call” order? When someone—say a bill collector—calls my house and I tell them I can’t help them today, is it wrong for me to get angry when they press me to “take care of this today” when I have already said I can’t pay that bill at that time? And they disrespectfully press me to pay over the phone when I have said, “I don’t have the money for that today.”

I suppose they are being paid on a commission basis, however many people they can bully into paying their debt nets them a percentage?  Do they realize that there was some help for us to fall below our ability to handle our debt? The U.S. Government has been instrumental in creating economic disaster for everyone in this country. But, of course, we are selective about who we ‘bail out.’ 

The 12-Step program used by Gamblers Anonymous says: Gamblers Anonymous ought never endorse, finance or lend the Gamblers Anonymous name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.  Every Gamblers Anonymous Group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions. Congress should have a similar set of guidelines and stop the lobbying from running our nation, bullying our citizens. 

As I think about the conflict of religion I feel like I’m on a completely different plane of observation and understanding.

To me, it’s not about “color.” It’s about “Unity.” We are so busy searching for our differences we have lost sight of our common ground, creating more diversity, more division, and slaughtering Unity.

To me, it’s less about which religion’s concept of “God” is the right one and more about living a godlike life. If we all hold to a God of love, if we all respect life, respect each other, reflect godlike living, well…what was the question?

To me, the Bible is less about threatening punishment for our sins and more about wisdom and warnings to help us make better, more sound decisions, so we have a better, more sound, stronger world to live in.

When did we decide we don’t need wisdom?

When did we forget what respect is?

When did we become so selfish and self-centered individuals?

When did we lose compassion?

When did we decide that we don’t need love?

Keys

There is always something “out there” to provoke controversy and cause people's tempers to flare. I like to be around people as much as anyone, but there's something to be said for alone time, too.

I just heard someone say, “I'm going to be stuck in this godforsaken town for the rest of my life.”

I wanted to say, “All that's stopping you is you.”

Instead I asked, “Where do you want to go?”

We learn to hold ourselves back. And we make excuses to keep ourselves down. And we may not even realize we are doing this. But maybe we do.

“I can't change anything right now. There's the job, the house, the kids, the spouse, the, the, the...”

“If I leave I will damage the kids for life.”

“If I stay I will damage only me.”

“I can't abandon my parents. They will need me.”

“I have to stay on the safe side of the sidewalk.”

WE hold OURSELVES back.

So it logically follows that we also can free ourselves...if we can overcome our fears.

(c) 2013 Cathy Thomas Brownfield ~ ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part of this blog or blog entry may be used without the consent of the author. 

Economics

Are things improving on the economy front? Wall Street and the bankers seem to be recovering nicely, at least the last time I saw the news. But families are still struggling. Financial struggle is stressful. Stress is a killer. Everyone knows this but the business world is all about profitable bottom lines at any cost, even in creating stress that creates a boilermaker of epic proportions just waiting to explode.

My Internet provider, in December agreed to charge $16.99/month for 12 months. It would take a couple of billing cycles for it to show up on my bill. (I'm not sure how necessary this is, but I guess if that is the case, they won't mind if I send them payments less the difference and it will all catch up in a couple of billing cycles. Is it about using my money and everyone else's to generate income off of it?)

I looked at the February billing. We were still being charged the $33/month. I called. Our account was to be credited for the difference on January and February billing while our account went to "investigating" to figure out what needed to be done. (Seriously??? Unfortunately, yes.)

We got two different pieces of mail from the provider. One said we would be charged $18.99/month for 12 months, and thereafter $36/month. The other said we would be charged $21/month for 12 months, and thereafter $36/month. There would be a 12 month contract and an $180 early termination fee if we did not hold the contract.

OK. Something is definitely not right. Initially I thought I am not picking up the slack for Wall Street and the bankers who created the economic crisis...and would I be making a fiercely miscalculated stab in the dark if I thought for one minute that Wall Street and the bankers have a hand in the "sequester"? If I am very wrong, I hope someone with knowledge and wisdom can explain or point me in the right direction for a little discovery on my own.

I called. I explained that, although I understand that the provider has a financial bottom line to be concerned about, I have greater concerns about the financial bottom line of my family.  We did manage a resolution: $18.99/month for 12 months, no contract, and no early termination fee because I flat out refused to accept an agreement with them on any other terms. My other option: there are "hot spots" at restaurants all over town. I don't have a problem with cutting off my Internet provider. They don't want to lose me as a customer.

Everyone is not so agreeable to make such a compromise. But it was worth my time to negotiate. Now, I just need to do the same kind of negotiating with other products and services I purchase.

While we're talking about this economic subject, I understand when we're handling our "consequences" which are not always OURS, it doesn't really help much for someone to say, "Into each life a little rain must fall," or "This, too, shall pass," or "There isn't a road that doesn't have a bend in it," or even "Been there, done that..."

But the truth is, we take each day as it comes. We do what we can do, and go from this moment. If creditors call you, what more can you do than say, "I'm doing everything I can to take care of this but it's out of my control." You can look for assistance. A lot of other people are in the same situation, but the charities do the best they can to find help for those in need. If your utilities are going to be shut off due to lack of payment, you are in need. Everyone needs help sometime. And everyone finds themselves in a position to help others sometimes.

(c) 2013 Cathy Thomas Brownfield ~ ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No parts nor the entirety of this blog may be used without the express permission of the author. THANK YOU

Washington's Crossing

            I spent the weekend in Princeton, New Jersey. I was impressed that 800-plus students received their master’s degrees from Princeton Seminary. But the weekend didn’t end there for me.

            We visited the site where George Washington and his troops crossed the Delaware River that long ago Christmas night. Let me refresh our memories about this significant incident.

            It was winter. The troops were cold, tired, and had no hope of defeating the Red Coats. How can you defeat your enemies when you have boots with holes in the soles or no shoes at all, or rags tied around your feet when you are trudging through snow, sleet, rain and wind? You have no coat. No gloves to warm protect your hands. You are tired, hungry and feel the enemy breathing down your necks.

            Washington’s troops camped on the Pennsylvania side of the Delaware. The British and Hessians defeated the colonists on Long Island and then Manhattan in August, the colonists fleeing further west until they were across the Delaware into Pennsylvania.

            The British, having gained New Jersey and Rhode Island, were sure they would successfully end the Revolution in Britain’s favor.

            As 1776 neared its close, the troops would be released from their commitment and return to their homes. Many of them probably were counting the days, anxious to get back to their families, their farms, their warm, comfortable beds.

            Washington decided they were attack the British at Trenton. On Christmas night he and his troops crossed the narrow river, choppy with ice and wind, pelted with sleet, rain and snow. It took eight hours to transport the men, the artillery, horses and other equipment they would need. Each man carried 40 rounds of ammunition for his weapon.

            They surprised the enemy. Who would have expected an attack on Christmas? The Rebels gained the victory. Less than a week later they crossed again, gaining victories on Jan. 2 and 3 and beginning a new year with hope and strength, determined that they could, in fact, send the Red Coats back to England with their tails between their legs.

            Washington and his troops brought about the turning point of the Revolutionary War by bringing hope to the Rebels, the kind of hope they needed to rise up and become a force to be reckoned with. We all know the outcome of the Revolutionary War.

            What worth does this story have? Why is it still relevant today?

If you like this blog entry, please leave a comment to let me know. ;) 

(c) 2012 Cathy Thomas Brownfield ~ All Rights Reserved.