Friday, November 29, 2013

Feisty Women

I love feisty women. When I grow up, that's exactly what I want to be. Mabel is feisty. Now in her 80s, she still drives her car, still speaks her mind and has colored her hair Lucille Ball red. Go, Mabel! Hazel, a southern belle, adopted this Yankee town for her home when she married a Yankee. She speaks up, laughs a lot, and has a wonderful light in her eyes that spells, "Don't Tread On Me." Go, Hazel! Maureen stood her ground against her in-laws for a lot longer than she should have, perhaps, but she took matters into her own hands. She has traveled to every one of the continents. She even traveled on a Russian fishing boat to research Iceland for one of her novels. She died on an emergency room table and was brought back. "The vows said 'til death we do part'," she said. "I died. We are done." Jewel, a history buff in our town, has spoken her mind clearly and succinctly, for as long as I have known her. If someone takes offense, oh, well. That was not her intent. She is just being Jewel and saying what she thinks. Feisty. These are feisty women and I so admire them.

A friend posted to a list we are members of that I "ran off a preacher man." He didn't share the whole story so I thought it presented the "wrong" impression of what actually took place. That people on the list who do not know me might have the totally wrong idea about the person I am. And then there was the preacher man who said to me, "You need to be a strong wife, the wife your husband needs. Stop complaining." I had asked for some guidance on getting along with my in-laws. It can't work unless both sides are striving for a good relationship. One half of the equation just isn't going to make anything work. And I'd made up my mind I was not going to be told what I could and couldn't do, what I would and wouldn't do. My mama taught me to do my own thinking.

Then there was the preacher man that my friend referred to. When others in the congregation come to you and say, "He was talking about you!" from the pulpit, using me for an example...I thought it was my imagination. But, it felt like "bullying." When he said, "Just because your mama tells you something doesn't mean it's the truth," or, "Don't bring your problems to me. I don't have answers for you," there is a problem, Houston. Because, as I understand it, and I could be very mistaken here, the disciples had so much work to do in speaking and converting people to Christianity they created the offices of elders and deacons to tend to the needs of the people. Someone is supposed to be "ministering" to those who need.

When I spoke to him, one-on-one, as the Bible prescribes (I did this not once but at least twice) he said he had no issue with me. Um...I guess it didn't occur to him that I, a woman, had an issue or two with him and wanted to eliminate the problem. So I took the next step, which the Bible ALSO prescribes: If you can't resolve the issue one-on-one, find someone you both trust to mediate. OK. I went to a man who graduated from seminary, used to be a minister at that church, was then an elder at another church of the same persuasion in another community, and we both respected this man. He refused to become involved. "Haven't you figured out yet that he isn't doing his job?"

Oh. My. The third step of this prescription from the New Testament is to take it to the church. I could see where that would take me...chastised and punished publicly from the pulpit. So I decided it would be better if I walked away from that little church. But there were people there who did not want me to leave. I couldn't stay and be accused of causing trouble or destroying that little church. That's not the way God works, is it? But I did say to one of the elders' wives, "When God asks why they let [this "minister"] do to his church what this man has done, what will the elders answer?" I also told her I would NOT be the one who damaged the church.

I was not attending that little church when the minister left. He did his own damage. And he was removed from that position because of his own actions. I did NOT run him off. I simply stood my ground and defended the women who were insulted when he said they all are liars. Did HIS mother lie to him? Why would he say that MY mother would LIE to me? I've been seeking Truth for all of my lifetime. Surely he wasn't telling my children and grandchildren that I would LIE to them???

Maybe I am on my way to feisty. Cool. I like that idea a lot.