God looks at the heart

But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.

Samuel was commanded to go to Jesse and annoint the one God had chosen to be king. The one he thought must be God's choice was NOT the one. And neither were Jesse's sons until the youngest -- who was a shepherd -- was brought to Samuel ... a kind of Cinderella story, I think.

Yesterday I saw someone I hadn't seen in some while. She asked how I am. I said, "OK." She looked at me. "Just OK? You usually are smiling and happy. What's wrong?"

So I know I am naturally inclined to have a happy and contented heart. The problem is less me than I thought. The kind words were the balm my spirit needed. I am encouraged. I am uplifted and set on my feet. As everything around me continues the cycles that lead us all, propel us forward, I am gaining my strength and vision again so I might achieve those goals the Lord God has for me because he knows my heart. He judges my heart.

And to my friends and followers who might not hold the same beliefs as I do, please do not be offended by this series of blogs of the heart. I am on a journey to define the heart and this is the most logical place for me to start.

(c)2014 Cathy Thomas Brownfield. All Rights Reserved.

At the Heart of It: Do I have a heart?

Do I have a heart? What kind of heart do I have?

I copied down from a concordance all of the biblical references to the word 'heart.' I'm going to chew on these for a while. There are a lot of them. Today I am looking at Exodus 23:9.

Do not oppress an alien; you yourselves know how it feels to be aliens, because you were aliens in Egypt.

At first I thought this didn't apply to the term 'heart.' But, really it does. When I feel with my heart I see from where I came and I understand that everyone desires the same things, like safety and security. Everyone wants to be accepted, connected, loved. When I treat everyone the same ... Caucasian, African-American, Chinese, Hispanic are mostly our population that I am aware of ... I have a happy heart. I feel good, not because I have been kind to someone but because I want them to treat me with acceptance and respect, too. I am desirous of a united community that has common ground.

It stings when I am in a store and someone different than me snubs me. It's like they have made themselves at home in my house but they want to take it from me. I want to be hospitable, but how can I with an enemy who would slit my throat and take what I have WORKED for?

Nobody has given my husband and me anything. We have WORKED to earn it. Nothing we have was an ENTITLEMENT. It was not given to us. Sometimes we have paid a high price, not dollars and cents necessarily, to get what we have. In fact, there have been times when we were denied food stamps. All I wanted was food stamps to feed my children. And I was turned away. We have always paid taxes to support those programs, but I was turned away in our hours of need!

Do I have a heart? Yes. What kind of heart do I have? I have a generous heart, but I also matter. Your rights stop where my rights begin. But all well behaved children are taught to share.

(c) 2014 Cathy Brownfield. All Rights Reserved.
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Responsibility

                What is responsibility?

                Merriam Webster defines it as “the quality or state of being responsible.” Responsible is “liable to be called upon to answer for one’s acts or decisions; answerable. Able to fulfill one’s obligations: reliable, trustworthy. Able to choose for oneself between right and wrong. Involving accountability or important duties.

                Accountability.

                Reliability.

                Trustworthiness.

                Discerning.

                All of the above are important characteristics for the term “responsibility.” We each have “responsibilities.” But how do we perceive those responsibilities?

                Many a mother has said, “Think past the end of your nose, down the road a piece, and consider the consequences of your actions BEFORE you actually do those things. Can you live with those consequences of your actions if you have to? If the answer is “no” it might be best NOT to do them. That is being responsible and it’s also respecting yourself.

                It has been said, “Two wrongs don’t make a right.” But when you make a mistake it is often easier to own it, admit it, make restitution for it and move on with your life. When you do this, you are accountable – responsible – for what you’ve done and proven trustworthiness.

                Sometimes responsibility is heavy and burdensome, so burdensome that it seems like it would be easier and solve everything if you could simply lay down and die. Many people have “ended it all.” But you become stronger, more knowledgeable and resilient with each challenge you conquer, each obstacle you manage to defeat. Challenges are much easier than obstacles.

                Who is responsible for substance abuse?

                Who is responsible for the global economy?

                Who is responsible for the good things in life?

                Who is responsible?

© 2014 Cathy Thomas Brownfield ~ All Rights Reserved

Complaining

The more I complain, the more I find to complain about. So here I am, finally feeling alive again. It might have something to do with the open window because it's FINALLY 70 degrees here after snow as late as three days ago. YAY!!! It might have something to do with connecting with someone who can be objective about me and is telling me I am doing a pretty good job with my self right now.

You see, something happened on the way to Paradise. When I looked at the lives of women who have had influence over me I saw that they martyred themselves for the people they loved. Hm. Well, I wasn't going to let that happen to me. If the man I was with didn't love me, he didn't need to feel obligated to stay with me. But it's something that comes when you are busy, so busy that you don't realize what is coming up behind you. 

My man says he loves me and always has. But times have been hard. I have thought for years that he was overwhelmed by the hardships and somewhere along the way he has come to lean on me too much. That is probably my fault because I let him lean thinking he would find his way and pick up his load and go on with it again. My mother tried to advise me of the error of my ways but I just didn't understand, perhaps because I was too close to the situation to have any objectivity. 

It's late in the relationship, but I don't hold back now. I am brutally honest if need be. D said to me, "God isn't easy on us, is he? When we need to learn something he is forthright and honest about it, even if it hurts." And D is pretty right on about that. And there's that song, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." 

I think if it wasn't so windy outside I would take a rake to the front yard. But the leaves are skittering along the sidewalk and the highway so maybe the wind will save me some work, some time. And I can sit here and feel good about my life.

(c) 2014 Cathy Thomas Brownfield ~ All Rights Reserved.