Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Matrilineal world

Of course, I'm not really a mad woman. Angry, sometimes, but I think I am reasonably sane. I think I may finally, FINALLY, understand the message: "Mom, your children are grown. Now it's time for you to do what's best for you."

I've considered a lot of things over the years, based on my observations of women who have influenced me during my lifetime. Essentially, I was raised matrilineally. That means by women. My maternal grandfather died when my mother was 17, his widow, 49. My paternal grandfather died when I was 4. My step-grandfather wasn't nice to my grandmother. And my dad was rarely home.

I was raised by women who taught me right from wrong, compassion for others, passion for the gift of life I was given and instructions: You can achieve anything you want to if you're willing to work hard for it. Mom emphasized, "Use your own head to think with. Don't let others do your thinking for you. Look further than the end of your nose, plan ahead. Use your head for something besides a hat rack. And use good common sense."

She waited patiently for her husband to die. The doctors said he'd die long before he actually did. He died when she was an old woman who couldn't live alone.

How many women have done that?
How many more women will?